Why Do I Feel Like I Don’t Belong Anywhere Anymore?

Moving abroad is exciting: new languages, new customs, new adventures… and sometimes, a few existential crises. But for many expats, this adventure comes with a less-discussed emotional challenge: the feeling of not truly belonging anywhere. If you’ve ever felt like an alien dropped into a world that doesn’t quite understand you, know that you’re not alone.

The Psychological Perspective: Between Two Worlds… and Somewhere in Space

Belonging is a fundamental human need. From childhood, we build connections with places, people, and cultural norms that shape our identity. When we move to a new country, we don’t just change our address—we enter a whole new social environment with its own rules, customs, and subtleties. It’s exciting… but sometimes disorienting, like being an extraterrestrial trying to decode Earth’s social manual.

Psychologists call this experience “cultural liminality”—a state of in-between where you don’t fully feel at home in your country of origin or your host country. In other words: you’re a little alien trying to blend in with humans. This in-between state can bring identity confusion and homesickness—but it can also strengthen resilience, adaptability, and your ability to navigate multiple cultural contexts… basically a superpower for intergalactic survival.

A Story of Disconnection

Take Marie, a French woman who moved to Canada for work. At first, she was thrilled: new language, new friends, maple syrup galore. But over time, she began to feel a growing disconnect. When she returned to France, her childhood friends looked at her like she’d come from another planet. In Canada, she still didn’t fully feel at home—some local nuances escaped her, and some old habits were missing.

Marie asked herself: “Where do I really belong?” Spoiler: there’s no planet in the solar system where expatriates feel completely at home.

Why Do We Feel This Way?

1.     Loss of Shared Experiences – Leaving your home country means leaving behind shared history with loved ones. Friends who stayed may talk about events or cultural references that no longer make sense to you. You feel like a sci-fi character who’s missed all the Earth updates.

2.     Cultural Identity Shift – You adopt new habits and values, and your “old self” becomes a stranger to your past social circle. Maybe napping at 3 PM in Spain feels natural, but your friends back home think you’ve fallen into a time warp.

3.     Return Shock – Visiting can be as destabilizing as leaving. Familiar places, but you’ve changed. Humor, social interactions, even old jokes now feel alien.

4.     Lack of Deep Roots – Even if you love your new life, it takes time to build deep relationships. Your new friends may not share your childhood memories or cultural references, leaving you feeling like an alien among locals.

How to Rebuild a Sense of Belonging

If you feel lost between two worlds (or two galaxies), here are some strategies:

1.     Embrace Your Hybrid Identity – You’re a unique blend of cultures. Fun fact: a little French, a little Canadian, and maybe a touch of intergalactic alien.

Exercise: List the habits, values, or traditions from your home country and host country that resonate with you. Find ways to blend them into your daily life and create your own inner planet where you feel at home.

2.     Find Your Community – Whether expat groups, local events, or online communities, connect with other “aliens” living similar experiences. It’s comforting to meet fellow intergalactic travelers.

3.     Create Meaningful Rituals – New brunch traditions, adapted local holidays, or simple daily routines can help you anchor your life—even if you sometimes feel like an alien on Earth.

4.     Stay Connected to Your Roots – Language, food, and traditions from home are your anti-disorientation shields.

5.     Seek Support – A therapist or coach who understands expat experiences can help you navigate these cultural galaxies with less turbulence.

Expanding Your Identity

Feeling like an alien everywhere is a common expat experience. But it’s not a loss—it’s an expansion. You have multiple roots and carry several worlds within you.

To explore your evolving identity, ask yourself:

·       Which aspects of my original culture are deeply rooted in me?

·       What new habits or values have I adopted since moving abroad?

·       How can I mix different cultural influences to feel at home wherever I am?

·       How has my expat experience changed my perception of belonging and identity?

Embrace your fluid identity and multiple roots: you’re not lost, you’re a multi-cultural alien… and honestly, that’s pretty cool.